The Simple Life (If You Can Work Out Your BTU's)

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Me:                       Hi, I'm calling about your 1000 watt off grid solar kit.
Mr. Technical:      Crikey, why do you want a 1k system, what are you running?
Me:                       Just a normal small house, the usual things.
Mr. Technical:      What's your average BTU consumption in mass kilowatts per unit?
Me:                       I just want a ballpark cost on a 1k system with a 3000 watt inverter.
Mr. Technical:      We have a great off-grid kit starting at $150,000, but that doesn't include a
                             sine wave dump load pre-charge regulator, and of course our technician will
                             need to come out and assess whether you have the sufficient 1.7 square kilometres
                             of mountable roof area for the 432 panels, depending on whether you go with the
                             monocrystalline multi-flex high-res hurricane resistor model or the PV sola-amp pro
                             nu-tech plasma combo packs, which need the optional torque-volt meter transformer.
                             It's a great beginner's pack.
Me:                       I think we'll just stick to sitting in the dark and eating raw mice, thank you.  

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Me:                       Hi, I'm calling about your 1000 watt off grid solar kit.

Piercing Voice:    Herro, my name Weewee I herrup you for most qwarity productives you wan Hello
                             Kitty so-rar systems, we got a rot, you give Mellican Expless number now.

Me                       Good-bye Weewee.

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Me:                       Hi, I'm calling about your wind turbine kits.

Bill:                       Yer no worries love watcher runnin?

Me:                       Just a normal small house, the usual stuff.

Bill:                       Yer just need the 2k turbine, controller and inverter for three grand all up,

                              and get yer bloke to pick yers up some truck batteries. Where are yer?

Me:                       Meekatharra.

Bill:                       Too easy. I'll drive it all up to yers next week when oi finish musterin' me cattle.

Me:                       I love you Bill.

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