Yesterday an Adelaide woman, apparently in a coma, pulled out of a side street in front of me & some other vehicles. I braked so hard the fridge door tore off, and unknown to me also split the fuel intake line. Cleaned up the broken balsamic vinegar & maple syrup bottles while the other drivers set fire to her car. So now we have Smell Combination #1 wafting through the bus.
As I approach Two Wells (darkness falling) I see the fuel tank needle dropping fast, pull over, there's a trail of diesel fuel running down the middle of the highway. Panic. Pull the engine cover off, slam it shut again in horror. Manage to get to mechanic shop in Two Wells & camp out behind the rural supplies lot listening to the local Friday footy match. Haven't been able to make it to caravan park to dump the toilet so now I have Smell Combination #2: balsamic vinegar, maple syrup, diesel fumes, gassy toilet chemicals pong, overlaid with lime air freshener. Decide to skip dinner.
Spend most of the night googling diesel FAQ's until I have convinced myself that the whole engine is stuffed and I will have to stay in Two Wells for weeks waiting for parts. By 3 am I have a plan all worked out: I will get a job looking after the kelpie puppies & parrots in the feedlot supply store around the corner in exchange for pet boarding, live in my bus in the mechanic's storage yard & organise a runner to collect Mazda parts in Adelaide.
Just as I heave a sigh of relief, Smokey does a gigantic huge stinker in his litter box. As the fumes of Smell Combination: Armageddon overwhelm me I resort to a 3 am mantra of "it's all part of the adventure, it's all part of the adventure..."
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