MONTHLY PERFORMANCE REVIEW:
MR. SMOKEY CAT
While management appaluds this month's 100 percent increase in mouse catching, Mr. Smokey's prior statistics of 0 mice mean that this morning's catch of a single mouse does not represent a significant contribution in view of the dozens of mice seen scampering about the vicinity each day.
Employee reports of mice gaily frolicking about Smokey as he snoozes at his workstation are a cause for concern, as are his requests to be addressed as "HRH", "Your Lordship" and "O Great Wise One". The recent disappearance of an entire roast chicken, although circumstantial, lends credence to management's belief that dogs in fact are much superior, despite team leader Johnson's insistence that Smokey is a "zen-like being living on a higher plane of existence".
30/04/11
MS. HONEY DOGGE, CEO
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| Smokey tries new approach to mouse catching technique |
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