"...and as the umpire is carried off the playing field by the body recovery team the Cockroaches are behind 21 to 0 with Team Mortein looking solid for a fifth quarter victory here at--- wait! Ted, we're gonna patch through to Bob in the locker room for a breaking sports update."
"Well Jim the legendary Coach Smokey has just emerged from the locker rooms here at the Meekatharra Bunnings Bunnings Bunnings Ikea Gladatorium with team captain Johnson and...what's this...well you won't believe my eyes when I tell you I can see ruckman Hammer staggering beside her being held up by team mascots Boy and Honey, there's the contract, can we get a close up? The mood is electric here folks as we--"
"Bob! Can you tell us if Hammer is still in the team?"
"Jim this is incredible, incredible! Hammer's contract is slightly clawed but intact, he's looking a little worse for wearing but yes it looks like a breakthrough comeback for this battered player, you could cut the air like a goose through butter here Jim the corporate sponsors are weeping for joy and even Johnson looks surprised, it's a coop de gracias all round."
"Thanks Bob! Ted, it's sporting history in the breaking here today, it was looking grim for Hammer but this tenacious player has stepped up and crawled back forward of inscrumental obstacles which just goes to show that sometimes in sports there comes a once in a lifetime player when the going gets rough and the team pulls together excoriating the glory of one man in the battle to win against impossible odds."
"Jim I couldn't have put it any better myself! Bob, what's the mood in the locker room?"
"Ted it's ostracised chaos down here in the pits and the fans are going wild. Johnson's unexpected shock renewal of the new contract has certainly set the sheep among the goats and the team are right this minute conflagrating themselves and legendary Coach Smokey."
"Jim, we know that Hammer's prior career in the amateur leagues has left him with a lethargy of injuries, do you think this has been a factor here today in the past?"
"Well Ted you've hit the nail in the bucket on that one, Hammer's groin injuries in the rookie leagues have definitely had an averse effect on his confidence and his string of losses on the solo circuit sure didn't help, but as we've seen in the past this is a player with remarkable strategy skills under his sleeve."
"Bob I understand that the new contract carries a temporary field play suspension? Can you illustrate in more detail?"
"Well Jim it looks like Hammer is going to be on the back bench for a while and attending weekly training with the rest of the team while Coach Smokey monitors his performance review and administers the usual penalty lashings if he regressifies."
"Bob, it's been a great day in sports history as we've seen the play by play action in the pits through your ears. That wraps up the commentary for today folks as we take you back to the on-field carnage play between the Cockroaches and Team Mortein."
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