From meeting older (post-40's) couples around town it seems that the relationship thing is a whole lot simpler out here. You get introduced or just run into someone and if you get on OK you just kind of shack up and "see how you go". No big emotional dramas, no "what are you thinking" questions in bed or any of that stuff; it's more along practical lines. I joke about it in the blog, but romantic conversations really do sound a bit like job interviews - you check each other out for cooking & building skills, who's willing to do what around the house, the guy agrees to "stay off the piss" except on Friday nights, that kind of thing. It's about teaming up for mutual support without all the airy fairy over-expectations.
It's weirdly refreshing. Of course there is romance and intimacy, but it arises more out of day to day realities rather than waffling on about feeeeeelings. There's a definite man / woman role demarcation - woman cooks and cleans, bloke fixes and builds, you give him his little esky packed with lunch & ice water for the day, get tea ready for him at night, you frock up and he takes you to dinner at the pub on Friday and takes charge of the meat on the barbie when you have mates round after work, and if you do a run into Geraldton or Perth he does the driving and pays for the motel. Us womenfolk are in charge of salads, groceries and things like appointments; the consensus is that "the missus is the boss".
But it's not Stepford Wives - it's accepted that women go fencing, shooting, mustering, off-roading, chainsawing and all the other tasks of a station or "busy bee"; blokes expect that you probably have a basic power tool collection and know how to sort yourself out if you get bogged in the ute. I guess I would describe it as the idea of a "helpmate" from earlier times, an expectation between men and women that you're in a remote area and everyone needs to be able to look after themselves and others. You would not get away with being a dependent little princess out here! I think it's really hard to be on your own out here, and I get the impression that the blokes find it particularly difficult because they're often working on their own out in the bush. You can manage on your own, but it's a big sky and a wide, empty looking horizon out there.
I've noticed with Gary's mates that when we all get together, we don't tend to segregate into male/female groups which is often the case in Australia - the guys arrange the seating so that they can sit next to their partner while facing their male friends and even if they're off on some army service reminiscing or blokey car conversation, they include us (if we're not already talking about our own stuff) and make sure we have fresh drinks. All of them spend more time with their partners than each other and prefer to do things as couples rather than going off doing "bloke" things without us. It's hard to describe, but it's so different from city life - there isn't that thing of guys needing to "get away" from domestic life and go on male-only bad behaviour nights etc. It's a bit of a mix of gentlemanly chivalry with plenty of equality; it just feels nice, and right.
I only realised yesterday that Gary and I have spent maybe three hours apart since Christmas Eve and everyone just assumes we're living together now - no one bothers going round to Gaz's, they just come here! It's not a torrid emotional frenzy or la-la romantic brain collapse, it's just this funny calm pleasant feeling.
Oops! It's past six pm - better go cook dinner, don't want another beating! Gary's lengthened the chain from the stove so that I can reach the laptop.
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