Here are some things I have learned about living in close proximity to other people. By "other people", I mean normal everyday people and not the stress-adrenaline-crazed mobile phone tweeting facebook email distracted crazy people I have been accustomed to being around (myself having been one of them):
Other People:
• Are probably not trying to drive you insane by being astonishingly slow and disorganised
• Generally do not want you to set up a spreadsheet for organising the communal laundry
• Don't cope well with the complexities of replacing empty toilet roll holders
• Are sometimes Swiss people wearing long johns and sandals, making incoherent jolly jokes in Swinglish
• Can shed stupefying quantities of peculiar black hairs in unusual areas of the bathroom
More people than you would realise think it is perfectly acceptable to phone their dog; I am not alone.
Now that I am shacked up with a bloke for the first time, I have had to learn how to assert my need for privacy & personal time without resorting to a kitchen knife, although dumping laundry on Duncan's head has (according to recent informal polls) rated highly amongst my gal pals. While keeping in mind that dumping washing on your beloved's head is immature and a reflection of poorly developed relationship communication skills, it is eminently satisfying and has spectacularly successful results (as long as you can run fast enough).
A benefit of living around other people, once you have mastered your frequent urge to taser them, is that you pretty much stop muttering to yourself and talking to inanimate objects ("Well there's the bucket, how did you get there you naughty thing?").
Well that's enough philosophising for today. Must get back to building the electric perimeter fence.
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