iSnore

Gary's TV is enormous and generates so much heat from the screen that we have to put the air conditioner on, so the overall effect at night is like sleeping in a noisy airport terminal. Despite this and his tinnitus, Gary reckons he can hear me snoring (I usually fall asleep before the TV goes off). Our mature, well-adjusted discussion of the issue consisted initially of "Do snore!" "Do not!!" like a ping pong match until I tried to convince Gary that the complex processes of REM sleep activated his synapses in such a way that it seemed like he was being woken by me snoring when in fact it was his own snoring waking him up while simultaneously seeking subconscious externalised blame for the disturbance. "Don't try to bamboozle me with science stuff!"

So we ended up with Gary turning on a small night light and lying tensely poised with his iPhone in hand, waiting for me to fall asleep so he could record the "evidence". After much hilarity I finally fell asleep, then woke up later to find Gaz snoring away next to the iPhone. He doesn't believe me.

There is a large stick insect clinging to the side of my laptop as I write. Gary says it's a small one, being only about eight inches long. It seems to be doing calisthenics. For some reason we have a mini-plague of them in conjunction with praying mantii. The stick insects are (this will surprise you) stick-coloured, while the praying mantii are either green or stick coloured, depending on their mood. I am perfectly happy to have them in the house, as long as there is no sudden flying around or wild flailing panic type activity, or mistaking one for a handy toothpick.

I have no idea what it's doing,
but it seems happy