Today I spent a couple of volunteer hours wrapping presents at the aged care hostel. The presents included some plastic bowls which are identical to Smokey's, something called a "tree card holder" and smelly Avon stuff - your basic landfill items. Part of my job included writing up the little "to/from" cards; Raelene, the boss, said to just put "From Santa" on them. Many of the residents are aboriginal so I wanted to put "From The Rainbow Serpent" on them but realised that this would (a) not go down well and (b) probably not result in me getting a job there.
It was a relief to meet aboriginal staff there who are smart, educated, conversational and not acting like losers. Raelene gave me an enormous bundle of job application paperwork which has me flummoxed. They want copies of things like my university degree etc which are probably stuffed inside my cowboy boots in a box somewhere. Thankfully my desktop publishing skills should be up to whipping up a few convincing-looking certificates. No one reads them anyway. I'll make them from places like Der Czechoslovakian Institutenhoffen Auf Technoflogensteinischgefiltefish with long, inscrutable international contact phone numbers that no one will feel like calling.
I have not found the cockroach. For some reason, lizards are now moving into the house. I've told them this is acceptable as long as they remain on the ceiling or upper walls and contribute by eating insects, otherwise they'll be tossed on the BBQ (fritters anyone?).
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