Meeka News

At the risk of overstimulating the Waggin' Trail audience, here are some Meeka news & facts. Let's start with a transcript from our on-the-spot pub reporter of a breaking story as related by Anna and Lorraine:

L:  Them mosquitoes aren't so bad tonight.
A:  No.
L:  Sure came out early last night though.
A:  Yep.

Our social columnist reminds all you hubby-hunters in Meeka to check your prospective date's restraining orders - not whether he has any (don't be silly!), but how many. Be fussy gals! If he has more than 3 current RO's, why not spend an extra five minutes waiting for the next road train convoy and see if you can't do better?

In breaking news, reports have emerged of cattle offal being clandestinely disposed of at the old mine pit next to the racetrack. Could it be cattle rustlers, or the sinister handiwork of aliens? Local eyes are peeled for any signs of unusual cool room activity.

A shocking crime spree followed in the aftermath of Band Night at the Royal Mail Hotel, resulting in a small annoying metal footpath barrier pole being knocked loose from the 3 uncemented bricks which were holding it up. A recovery team consisting of a small child attempted to restore the pole to its upright position the following morning, to no avail. Local residents have decided that the best solution is to simply leave the pole lying on the footpath and move it randomly from one side to the other depending on which way their shopping trolleys are travelling, once again evoking the famous "can do" spirit in the face of the outback's many hardships.

This hardy outback ability to overcome any challenge came to the fore in the wee hours of Saturday when local "larrikin" (derived from an old Visigoth word meaning "complete idiot") Reg drove his car through the ten foot high motel security gates, which were shut and locked at the time. Security footage shows that it took two attempts to completely level the gates with the car, giving police little faith in Reg's claim that he "didn't realise it was fuckin shut mate".

In response to this wave of property damage and drunken mayhem, the local police have decided to crack down on people riding bicycles without helmets.